Dark Chocolate Bacon Pecan Frittata

Oh. Holy. Crap.

Have you started drooling yet? Good. You should be drooling. You have every right to drool... as long as you stay far away from my Dark Chocolate Bacon Pecan Frittata. I mean it; I'm close to making the Sharp Pointy Stick for this one!

So, I have this mammoth Paleo eBook (eCookbook doesn't seem right, does it?) on my phone, and it really hasn't steered me wrong. Having said that, I think they display a startling lack of creativity and imagination. For example: a simple recipe titled "Dark Chocolate Frittata". Now... I look at something like that and I think... where's the bacon?! A recipe like that and there's no bacon involved? SACRILEGE! So I had to take things a little further... okay, a lot further...

Now, the original recipe serves 4. That, to me, was dangerous. Why? Because given the chance, I would have eaten that whole damn thing. So I had to engage in a little portion control. Didn't for a moment affect the cooking method or the end result, I was pleased to discover. Did make it possible to eat half the pan and not feel incredibly guilty while my roommate ate the other half.

Ingredients/Tools:

Kids, listen to your Auntie Lindsay;
let's put on the oven mitts
before we burn our little fingers!

• 2-3 eggs
• 1- 1 1/2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
• dash of vanilla extract
• pinch of salt (Kosher or sea salt)
• 1 tbsp dark chocolate chips (anything that has 'chocolate' listed first on the ingredients, meaning it's made mostly of pure dark chocolate solids)
• 1 tbsp baked pecans
• 1 strip of bacon, diced
• unsweetened shredded coconut
• dash of unsweetened coconut milk (to get the eggs fluffier)
• 1 oven-safe pan or skillet
• most importantly... oven mitts (I cannot stress this enough)

Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350
2. Cut bacon into pieces and crisp slightly in the pan before anything else-- this makes the bacon taste better in the frittata and also coats the pan in a little cooking fat
3. Remove bacon when slightly browned and pour out excess bacon fat (to be used in future recipes)
4. Whisk eggs, vanilla, cocoa powder, coconut milk, and salt together
5. Since your pan has traces of cooking fat from the bacon, add just a little coconut oil to melt in the pan-- takes away from overwhelming bacon-y goodness
6. Pour in eggs and immediately sprinkle on the bacon
7. Let the bottom of the eggs set (should take 3-5 minutes)-- you'll know it's set when you shimmy the pan and the eggs no longer cling to it, but rather start to slide around
8. Sprinkle on the chocolate chips, pecans, and for good measure, as much shredded coconut as you desire
9. Place the whole pan in the oven and cook until the chocolate chips have melted and the coconut has been well toasted, probably about 12-15 minutes
10. Use the oven mitts to hold the extremely hot handle after the pan has been removed from the oven, as you will otherwise burn your fingers while you hold said handle when you're cutting and serving slices of frittata... a lesson learned the hard way

I renew my early "Oh. Holy. Crap."

That easily serves two people that would prefer not to go into an insulin-induced coma. The original recipe called for 8 eggs, 4 tbsp cocoa powder, and 4 tbsp chocolate chips. You can understand why I reduced the recipe, right? I love my dark chocolate, but I know myself, and my mouth full of sweet teeth would have gotten me into trouble. Even Tom, who admittedly does not worship The Chocolate Gods with my level of cult-like devotion, gobbled this one down. Between the eggs, the chocolate, the bacon, the pecans, and the coconut, it was hard not to cry.

Use this recipe with caution, for it yields awesome power...