Paleo Puddings and a Power Ranger

Easter candy is the best. You know why? Three words: Cadbury Creme Eggs. They're like crack. So now that the holiday has passed and the candy surplus is on sale everywhere I go, I'm having a hard time resisting the frequent opportunity to empty my bag of change and fill my mouth of sweet teeth with hyper-processed sugar, fondant, and chocolate. Sublimating my sugar cravings with tea, nuts, and fruit only gets me so far, and that's when I start in on the dark chocolate/healthy fat combinations. To my delight, I also discovered that gelatin is Paleo-friendly!

Time for another round of "I'm A Mad Genius!", I would say...

Paleo Puddings!
Dun-dun-duhhhhhhnnnnn!


Texture Is Everything
Good fats make good desserts like Chocolate Avocado Pudding and Chocolate Coconut Ice Cream-- both very satisfying with little sugar needed. Thing is, to achieve certain textures, those fats aren't enough. Eggs (whites, yokes, or entire eggs) will thicken things like ice cream, but usually require an ice cream maker to keep the mixture from crystallizing as it freezes. I don't have an ice cream maker, nor do I want to go out and get one for fear of how much I will start to use it. (Haven't I already established that I'm not to be trusted around Cadbury Creme Eggs?) Instead, I went to my market, put on my Paleo blinders, and got some unflavored gelatin. (It helps to pretend the Easter candy doesn't exist. It also helps to chastise it in your head as you walk by it.)

Mmm hmm... and I'm not talking (only) about the Jell-o flavor...

Chocolate Avocado Pudding has a wonderful texture to it without having to add any thickener. No, the gelatin was going to be for my Chocolate Coconut Ice Cream. I've made Jell-o before (I miss the days when Power Rangers had their own Jell-o flavors; give it up for the Black Ranger Berry Black!), but never experimented with adding it to recipes of my own. All I remembered is that in order for gelatin to dissolve and then mold correctly, it has to be added to colder liquid first, then have the hot liquid added.

Chocolate Avocado Pudding

I make this once every month or two

Ingredients:

• 3 avocados
• 6 Tbsp dark unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup raw honey (soften if needed)
• vanilla extract to taste
• coconut milk to texture
• sea salt (for garnish)

Directions:

1. Admit that you need to satisfy your sweet tooth, head to a grocery store, and buy avocados
2. Proceed to wait 3-4 days before the avocados are ripe enough to use, effectively blowing right past your initial craving
3. Combine cocoa powder, honey, coconut milk, and a splash of vanilla in your blender. This mixture should be a little thinner than what you want because the avocado will make it thicker. Keep adding coconut milk as needed
4. Add avocado in small chunks and blend until it's about as smooth as Rico Suave
5. Sprinkle sea salt and enjoy!

Chocolate Coconut Ice Cream
Ingredients:

I don't know if it's "ice cream" or not,
but it is damned good!

• 1 small packet of gelatin
• 1 can coconut milk, full fat
• 1 cup dark chocolate chips (the darker, the better... that means even less sugar involved)

Equipment:

• double boiler (large pot for boiling water, metal bowl to place over)
• blender
• Tupperware OR Popsicle molds if you'd rather try some portion control

Directions:

1. Blend your coconut milk and gelatin together to dissolve the powder
2. In your double boiler, melt your dark chocolate. Should only take 5-6 minutes. Do not let the chocolate boil or burn
3. Once thin enough, add the melted chocolate to the blender and mix thoroughly
4. Pour into your Tupperware or Popsicle molds
5. To get it to set quickly, store in a freezer for at least 2 hours

If it sets too hard from camping out in the freezer, you can always thaw it in a microwave for 10-15 seconds. That'll make it hold it's texture, yet soften enough to scoop out of your container and eat without breaking your teeth.