Still Here...

Again, still here. It's been hard to write lately as I'm in the process of looking for a job and having trouble making ends meet until then, but I promise, I've got some good material on the way.

Stick with me!

Tea-- Sweet, Sweet Deliciousness

There are some nights I go to sleep just so I can wake up the following morning and have breakfast, and on a cool-n-cozy Saturday like this, when it feels so right to stay in pajamas for as long as possible, that means an even better breakfast 'experience'. Nothing out of the ordinary with food this morning-- mushroom omelet with Sriracha and mustard, apple on the side. Nah, today's food porn is all about the drink: tea.

Yerba mate gourd

My love for tea began long before moving to Hippie Health Land (pronounced Colorado for those unsure). During high school, I was a self-proclaimed Theater Nerd, so I hung around with the more eccentric personalities in the school... you know, the guys that wore burgundy bathrobes under their fringed Harley-Davidson denim vests, or bowling shoes with vertically striped pants and a poncho... or, my personal favorite, guys with ponytails longer than mine. It was one of these crazy-go-nuts that was not fully assembled if he did not have his stainless steel thermos of a different daily tea. I'm not talking about Generic Lipton Black Tea Product. No, he'd have some amazing blends, things I hadn't heard of. This guy would sit through rehearsals drinking yerba mate out of its most appropriate container: a hollowed gourd. That's dedication to the good stuff.

Tea is a non-negotiable part of my diet. (Kinda helps that I live in an area swimming in tea manufacturers.) For anyone not familiar with the differences, there are three basic levels of color, each relating to when the tea leaf was picked and its level of caffeine, as well as an umbrella category called 'infusions'. (I'm not going to delve into the variations like oolong, yerba mate, kombucha, etc.)

White:

• least amount of caffeine... as in, almost none
• mild and usually sweet flavor
• high antioxidant concentration
• helps improve skin, heart, cholesterol, healthy teeth and gums
• helps neutralize cancer cells
• versatile flavor when cooking

 Green:

• healthy level of caffeine
• reduces migraines and headaches
• stimulates metabolism to support safe fat burning (it's not a miracle beverage, so don't start up the green tea I.V. and expect to drop 10 pounds in 2 days)
• rich in nutrients that are hard to find in other foods (like EGCG, shorthand for 'acid chain that targets viruses/bacteria')
• stronger taste

Black:

• highest level of caffeine, still less dangerous levels of it than most commercial soft drinks
• fullest flavor, usually made into 'desert tea'
• proven to reduce risks of cardiovascular diseases and strokes
• can be brewed repeatedly to preserve flavor while reducing caffeine

Infusions:

• do not come from the 'tea plant', but rather other herbs, flavors, or extracts that still require minimal (if any) processing



Ah, variety!

• red or 'rooibos' (pronounced ROY-bohs... just so you sound like you know what you're talking about) that comes from a specific breed of African bush
• flowers like rose, lavender, chamomile, peppermint (Caution: these flavors can be added to actual teas that have caffeine, so double check the name of the tea and the ingredients when you're out shopping or at (shudders) Starbucks)
• seeds, roots, or other plant leaves
• almost always contain no caffeine
• varied flavors

But is it Paleo?

Now, I've done my research when it comes to tea, and I gotta say... there is some massive confusion out there in the Internet World of Paleo. Caffeine is usually a forbidden substance in any form, so infusions that have never involved the tea plant at any point are acceptable, provided that they're not sweetened as that would spike insulin levels... and yet... caffeine, when left in its natural form in tea leaves, and when consumed in moderation, has tremendous health benefits, almost always related to heart health and safe cell growth and repair cycle. Tea leaves are not poisonous in their raw form, unlike things like soy and other beans, which means they don't fit into the category of 'foods' that require tremendous processing before they can be safely consumed; all that's really needed to make tea is tea leaves, hot water, and a thin enough membrane to let the flavor seep from the plant into the water. (Big aside here: it's possible to use a plant or root that is not Paleo and make it into an infusion, but unless you want to drink raw eucalyptus or Essence of Poison Ivy, you're probably safe.) I say, if your system is clean enough, one or two cups of different teas and infusions a day probably isn't going to derail your Paleo efforts, and is far safer than many of the alternatives.

Tea can be used in many different Paleo recipes in place of flavorless water to forgo the need of adding things like salt or sugars. There are a few independent labels like Boulder's The Tea Spot that have countless suggestions for how to incorporate different loose leaf blends into your meals. Easiest to add to soups or stews in place of broth or stock, you can also try blending with random starchy foods like sweet potatoes, parsnips, turnips... anything that is going to absorb and retain liquid during the cooking process. I used to make oatmeal with vanilla rooibos tea, but since I don't eat grains or glutens anymore, I have to find new ways to add tea to my food! Gee, darn, a new reason to try new recipes...

Turkey Burgers With Portobello Mushrooms And Mashed Turnips

This is about as low budget as it gets. 

Let's get to the food porn, shall we?

It had been a while since I'd had turkey, which is why I went for it instead of beef. This was my first time trying the portobello 'buns', and every site I checked said to remove the stems before grilling both sides of the caps, but to save the stems to use in future recipes. I figured that since I had radishes in my fridge, I might as well chop both the stems and the radishes and mix them in with the ground turkey!

This would be my side for the evening: Mashed Turnips, only this time with curry, turmeric, and rosemary. While this entire dinner only took about 20 minutes to make, this was the most time consuming part; having to peel round turnips without scraping off half your hand, then slicing them small enough so they will tenderize quickly took longer than expected.

For spices, I added a pinch of sea salt, black pepper, roasted red pepper flakes, onion, and garlic. Along with the radishes, I wanted a little zing to these burgers.

And for some reason, I always forget how cold my hands get mixing refrigerated meat!

Cooked everything in bacon fat to add another flavor to it all. Bacon fat brings something amazing out of mushrooms, I have to say. When I started heating the pan, there was something lingering on the burner that started smoking a little, and even after I wiped everything clean, I still kept the pan on 'low' to avoid burning. The only thing I would change about this meal is the length of time I let the mushrooms cook-- I'll do much longer next time!

Two larger burgers with a few smaller ones for leftovers. Turnips are mashed with enough leftover for another meal. See what I mean about getting your money's worth with this one?!

Oof. Good stuff!

I'll admit, while I loved every part of this dinner, I ate fast. Why? Because I had about 15 minutes to eat, clean up, put on clothes, and race out the door to go see "The Avengers".

Totally. Worth. It.

Besides... this one was a winner, definitely to be repeated. I could hork it all down comforted by the knowledge that I'd have another chance to savor it.

Cue The AC/DC Track...

BACK IN BLACK! I HIT THE SACK... IT'S BEEN TOO LONG, I'M GLAD TO BE BACK, YES I'M...


Okay, not that big, but yes, I'm back. Friends of mine had their second child this week... and there was that small existential crisis I had... and with a butt-ton of other nonsense, writing wasn't exactly my highest priority.

Then I decided to make turkey burgers with portobello mushroom buns and a side of mashed turnips for dinner tonight. That sure made me want to write again! Now, it's only 2:30ish as I type this up, and I'm not in my 70s, so I won't be eating for several more hours, but I did want to give y'all a heads up for the inevitable food porn in my next post.

And because babies are cute...

Derek, the newest lil' blond heartbreaker!

I'm Still Here, I Promise

Feeling a lot of things catch up with me this week, and they require all the attention I can spare.

I promise I'll get back to my long-winded Paleo taunts and musings and (dare I say) rants soon enough.

Need to get a damn job first.

Guest Blogging

My friend and fellow Curious Gage-er, Nic Widhalm, writes a blog about the joys, the frustrations, and the (sometimes) all-out war one experiences when writing anything personal and unique. He asked me to do a guest blog series for him; the first of four is currently up over at Nic Widhalm is Mad.

Writing something of substance can be a challenge. Many of my friends are taking advantage of the convenience of self-publishing by way of Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, etc, and getting their know-how, opinions, and tips out into the world.

You know... there are times when being a loud-mouthed, opinionated pain in the ass pays off!

Please take a look at Nic Widhalm is Mad and spread the love!

The Things I Think Of In The Bathtub

I used to work in a gym that was Female Oriented and celebrated a Total Lack of Quality Exercise in a Rapid and Condensed Amount of Time. (There are a few of 'em out there, but they're all the same, really. It's like the difference between Pepsi and Coke; it's still carmel-colored bug-dissolver and engine degreaser.) During a tour of the club for one prospective client, I motioned to the bulletin board we had by the front desk that we updated monthly with different exercises and posts on natural ways of achieving and maintaining health. One such article was about the benefits of frequent baths-- increasing circulation, processing metabolic wastes, relaxing tense muscle tissues, promoting rest and well-being, etc.-- and the number of simple ways they could be enhanced-- epsom salts, essential oils, apple cider vinegar, orange and/or lemon slices or extracts.

Apparently, this was her bathtub...
I can see why she didn't like baths

She looked at me like I was suggesting she smear her skin with human excrement and sit on her front lawn to attract leeches.


Her exact words to me were (and I remember them because they burned their way into my brain as I fought, with every ounce of willpower, to maintain eye contact and bury the overwhelming urge to laugh in her face when she said them), "Why would I want to soak myself in my own filth?"

My first question: What the HELL are you doing during your day that makes you so freakin' dirty?!


She then went on to praise public pools and hot tubs because they had things like chlorine and anti-bacterials in them, and were therefore safer... ahem, safer... on porous human skin than water, salt, or, god forbid, sweat.

My second question: What the HELL color is the sky on your planet?!

This understanding that humans are fully capable of surviving without the interference of modern synthetic chemicals is not unique to Paleo. It's embraced by all functions covered under the homeopathic umbrella, not to mention highly regarded in many religious or spiritual disciplines. Paleo applies it more towards food and the conditions of its growth than anything, but try a Google search of some natural remedies or common illnesses/symptoms with "paleo" as part of the string: there are endless discussion boards and articles about efforts extending well beyond food.

And this mindset is exactly what I dislike about modern society; we are so willing to embrace medicine and chemicals when they tend to cause more disease and suffering than they fix, yet thumb our noses at treatments and cures that have been proven effective over the course of millions of years. Just because it's 'modern' doesn't mean it's 'safer' or 'more effective'. I will happily, if not eagerly, admit that there are thousands of life-saving procedures and safe-guards available through modern scientific breakthroughs; I for one will skip the acupuncturist in the event of being mauled by a bear and go right to the hot ambulance guys in the tight-fitting uniforms. But often times, these 'life-saving procedures' are recommended as the first line of defense or correction when all it really takes is an examination of lifestyle factors like sleep habits, dietary habits, exercise habits, and so on. Yes, certain efforts to make things sanitary and sterilized result in a longer lifespan for the population at large. But look at how much of our country is drug-dependent and draining the system in an effort to preserve a poor quality of life over a longer period of time, and tell me that that is effective.

Mmmm... adult candy...

Maybe that's the whole point: it's easier and more convenient to take a pill than to change your life. Changing your life means you have to first realize that it's not working for you now, which points out your own faults... you made the wrong choices. Then there's the tedious examination of the portions of your life that need to be altered, and then the actual breaking-of-bad-habits... just gimmie the Vicodin instead and we'll call it good!

I am nowhere near as good at this as I'd like to be (but that's only because I'm a self-chastising perfectionist), but as far as I know, this is the only life I get to live. I'd rather not waste time being flagrantly unhealthy because to change would be (seemingly) too hard. (I say this whilst laughing at myself because of where I am in my professional and spiritual journey... rock bottom, and am having a hard time summoning up any sense of bravery to put my money where my mouth is.)

What I can attest to is that I was once bloated, always in some form of pain or discomfort with my body, and didn't want to admit that the simple solutions that were right in front of me, next to me, behind me, and in all ways surrounding me were the ones I should try. But once I realized that I wasn't a complete moron for turning a blind eye to this, and in fact worthy of something better, things changed. It wasn't overnight because nothing worthwhile ever is, but it was faster than I knew, and more expansive than I anticipated.

Please, please, pretty please... ignore magazine ads and infomercials that offer you amazing results in the blink of an eye. They are selling you something; chances are, they're gonna lie. Instead, I beg you, understand that you are fully capable of healing and living at the same time. Hell, they support each other! To live well keeps your body in a constant state of self-repair, and to use that natural healing ability is to fuel the reason to stay alive.

Be a human 'being', not a human 'inanimate object'!

Local Food Porn

And a triumphant "yay!" sounded from her, traveling jauntily down the neighborhood on the late spring breeze...


The Farmers Market is back for the season! Time for the local goodies!

A Farmers Market Is Worth A Line Of Lame Poetry?
Bet your ass. (Or should that have been a 'yea, verily'?)

I've been looking forward to local raw honey for months now!

You don't have to be Paleo to enjoy getting locally grown foods, but if definitely helps. Most farmers markets are rich in Paleo staples: seasonal vegetables, fruits and berries, nuts, unique oil blends, potted herbs like basil and mint, raw honey (which is a great homeopathic remedy for seasonal allergies), locally raised animal products like meat and eggs, even dairy products (if you're so inclined to add that into your diet, though a friend of mine describes it as "cow snot", and I tend to think of it as "acne juice"). So you go to a farmers market, you could pretty much get everything you need!

Eating foods that come from the same environmental conditions you live in gives you a chance to build natural immunity to allergens; honey is the most recognized food that supports this, but all foods play a role in getting your body acclimated to your ever-changing surroundings. A little interest in the vendors gives you the chance to find out how the foods are cared for-- how animals are fed, if harmful pesticides are used, etc.-- meaning you won't have to guess if you're still not that used to looking for things like "grassfed", "gluten free", or even "organic".

More Reasons To Support A Farmers Market:

• Locally grown and cultivated foods require very little in the way of transportation and preservatives, meaning they have a much kinder effect on the environment and ourselves
• Chances are, your grocery bill will be significantly smaller
• Vendors often have unique items (salsas, dips, trail mixes) that can't be found in large commercial stores
• They're everywhere!!! Websites like FarmersMarket.com and EatWild.com help you find all local outlets through national listings

So, yeah, I'm a geek, getting this excited about all this... but when you can find cuttings of potted "chocolate mint" that smell like the mint plants have been dipped in sultry dark chocolate, that worthy of some geekery, I'd say!